Currency Conversions for Frequent Visitors to Estonia

A funny little article from an American living in Estonia:

Currency Conversions

To help friends back at home, here are some basic conversions (and yes, this does read like a lame Yakov Smirnoff routine):

1 American Dollar currently equals 13.25 Estonian Krooni.

5:00PM in the United States is called 17:00 in Estonia.

When it is 11:00AM in California, it is 21:00 in Estonia.

When it is 11/03/05 in California, it is 03/11/05 in Estonia.

In the United States, people wear T-shirts and shorts when the temperature is above 60ºF; in Estonia, people wear T-shirts and shorts when the temperature is above freezing.

In the United States, you can drive on the highways for days; in Estonia you can only drive for four hours – after that, you are in Russia or Latvia.

An American “Milky Way” candybar is called a “Mars” bar in Estonia; yet the American “Mars” bar does not exist in Estonia (it is an Estonian “Mars” bar with nuts).

No, a “Quarter Pounder with cheese” is not called a “Royal with cheese” here.*

The Baltic Sea has no waves and there are only two mountains in Estonia (both the height of my apartment building), yet there is a surf and snowboard shop near my house.

In the United States, when milk goes sour, we throw it away; in Estonia, when milk goes sour, people drink it and it costs more.

In the United States, a gallon of gas in the U.S. is $3.00; in Estonia, it is twice that price.

In the United States, drivers avoid hitting pedestrians; in Estonia, pedestrians run from cars.

In Estonia, all highschool students can identify the United States and Estonia on a map; in the United States, many highschool students cannot identify the United States on a map and even more think that Estonia is a fictitious country from “The Flintstones.”

An American appetizer is the same size as an Estonian entree.

In the United States, people eat fatty orange American Cheese; in Estonia, people eat fatty beige headcheese.

In the United States, beer is sold by the can or by the pint; in Estonia, it is sold by the liter.

The average American weighs around 1.4 Estonians.

In the United States, pepper is a spice; in Estonia, lard is a spice.

In the United States, fruit juice contains: high-fructose corn syrup and 20% real juice; in Estonia, fruit juice contains: juice.

In the United States, movie theaters sell popcorn and candy; in Estonia, movie theaters sell popcorn and candy and beer and wine.

In the United States, a loaf of bread has the shelf-life of two weeks; in Estonia, a loaf of bread has the shelf-life of two days.

In the United States, waiters work for tips; in Estonia, waiters do not get tips and you should be grateful that they even bother to notice you, let alone give you a menu, you stupid demanding American . . . Like what, am I here to wait on you or something?!?

In the United States, television news is about events in the United States; in Estonia, television news is about events in the United States.

The rest of this wonderful blog can here read here http://lettersfromestonia.blogspot.com/.